关于英语幽默小笑话短一点

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关于英语幽默小笑话短一点



失物招领广告一则 An Ad

After a beautiful purebred puppy wandered onto our back porch and made himself at home,my husband composed an ad for the "Lost and found" column of the local newspaper. It read: "A puppy, male, approximately nine months old, no collar, very friendly, found on RockbridgeRoad. "

I feared all the detail might encourage an unscrupulous person to claim the dog. As Imethodically explained why each clue revealed too much, my husband dutifully crossed out thewords. Finally, in frustration, he rewrote the ad, reducing it to a single sentence that I couldn'trefute. It read: "Guess what I found?"

一只漂亮的纯种狗来到我们的后门廊并已此为家了。我丈夫为当地的“失物招领”栏目构思了一则广告。它是这样写的：“小狗，雄性，近九个月年龄，无项圈，很友善，发现于石桥路。”

我害怕这样的细节会给那些昧着良心要狗的人以可乘之机。我有条不紊地解释为什么每个线索都透露得太多，我丈夫就尽职地划去一些词。终于，出于为难，他重新写了广告，把它缩为一个我无法反驳的句子。

它是这样写的：“猜猜我发现了什么?” 女儿的音乐课是一笔财富

Jack: My daughter's music lessons are a fortune to me. John: How is that?

Jack: They enabled me to buy the neighbor's houses at half price. 杰克：我女儿的音乐课对我来说就是一笔财富呀。 约翰：这是怎么回事呢?

杰克：因为音乐课使我们只用半价就买下了邻居的房子。 我的爸爸更加强壮!

Will and Bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger man.


威尔和比尔在为谁的父亲更强壮而争吵。

Will said, "Well, you know the Pacific Ocean ? My father's the one who dug the hole for it."

威尔说：“喏，你知道太平洋吗?就是我爸爸为它挖的洞。”

Bill wasn't impressed, "Well, that's nothing. You know the Dead Sea ? My father's the one whokilled it!"

比尔不屑一顾：“ 噢，那没什么。你知道死海吗?那是我爸爸杀死的。” 师生问答之我爱炸鸡

In class the teacher showed pictures of various birds. Then he asked one of the students, "What kind of bird do you like best, Jack?" Jack thought a moment, then answered, "Fried chicken, sir."

老师在课堂上向学生们展示了各种各样的鸟的照片。然后他问其中一名学生，“杰克，你最喜欢哪种鸟儿啊?”

杰克想了想，回答，“炸鸡，老师。” 上帝的一秒钟与一百万

A man goes to church and starts talking to God.

He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny". Then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second".

Then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second" 一男子进入教堂和上帝对话。

他问：“主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?”上帝回答：“一便士。” 男子又问：“那一百万年呢?”上帝说：“一秒钟。”

最后男子请求道:“上帝，我能得到一便士吗?”上帝回答:“过一秒钟。” 寻找伴侣 Looking For A Companion Looking for a companion


A bachelor asked the computer to find him the perfect mate: "I want a companion who is small and cute, loves water sports and enjoys group activities. "

Back came the answer: "Marry a penguin. " 寻找伴侣

一个单身汉要电脑为他找个完美的伴侣：“我要找一个娇小可爱的、喜爱水上运动又喜欢群体活动的伴侣。” 回答是：“娶一只企鹅吧。” 罗浮宫着火,先救哪幅画?

A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: "If a fire broke out inthe Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out?"

一份报纸组织了一场竞赛，为下面的问题征集最佳答案：“如果卢浮宫起了火，而你只能救出一幅画，你将救出哪一幅?”

The winning reply was: "The one nearest the exit." 获奖的答案是：“最接近门口的那一幅。”

感谢您的阅读，祝您生活愉快。

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