【#文档大全网# 导语】以下是®文档大全网的小编为您整理的《英语幽默笑话》，欢迎阅读！
今天，小编要给大家讲个笑话，这个笑话篇幅有点长，大家一定要有耐心地看哦。对了，这则英语冷笑话的名字是：大象为什么不玩电脑？结局有惊喜噢！一起来看看吧！ 1) Q: Why won’t the elephant use the computer? A: He’s afraid of the mouse!
鼠标和老鼠的英文皆为mouse：
mouse [maʊs] n. 鼠标；老鼠；胆小羞怯的人 2) Q: Which are the stronger days of the week? A: Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays. week和weak同音： week [wiːk] n. 周，星期
weak [wiːk] adj. 疲软的；虚弱的；无力的；不牢固的 3) Q: Which runs faster, hot or cold? A: Hot. Everyone can catch a cold.
catch有抓住的意思，catch a cold是感冒的意思 4) Q: How did the soldier fit his tank in his house? A: It was a fish tank.
tank n. 坦克；水槽；池塘 fish tank 鱼缸，金鱼缸
5) Q: How can you tell the ocean is friendly? A: It waves.
wave有波涛翻滚的意思，也有挥手致意的意思 wave [weɪv]
n. 波动；波浪；高潮；挥手示意；卷曲
vt. 卷（烫）发；向…挥手示意；使成波浪形 vi. 波动；起伏；挥手示意；摇动；呈波形
All Except the Music
A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music, so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert. To make the occasion even more memorable, she treated everyone to lemonade, cake, chocs and ices. Just as the party was getting back into their coach, she said to little Sally, "Have you enjoyed yourself today?"
"Oh, yes, miss!" said Sally, "It was lovely. All except the music, that is." 除了音乐
一位热心的年轻教师想让她的学生多了解一点优秀的古典音乐，就安排了一天下午去听音乐会。为了使这次活动能给大家留下更深的印象，她请大家喝柠檬汽水、吃点心、巧克力和冰淇淋。在大家回来上汽车的时候，她问小萨莉：“你今天玩得好吗?” “噢笑话 | 半个柑橘，还是十分之五个柑橘? 作者：Hayden 来源：互联网 2017-10-18 02:16
英国人有他们独特的英式幽默，他们流传的英语笑话让人会心一笑，今天，小编给同学们收集、整理了几则特别有趣的英语笑话，希望大家能开心开心，一起来看看吧！
Improvement
One student to another: "How are your English lessons coming along?"
"Fine. I used to be one who couldn't understand the English men, and now it's the English men who can't understand me." 进步
一位学生对另一位说：“你的英语 最近学的怎么样?”
“很好，我过去不懂英国人说话，可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。”
Half or Five Tenths?
Teacher: Would you rather have one half of an orange or five tenths? Gerald: I'd much rather have the half.
Teacher: Think carefully, and tell me why.
Gerald: Because you lose too much juice when you cut the orange into five tenths.
半个还是十分之五
老师：你愿意要半个柑橘，还是十分之五个柑橘? 杰拉得：我宁可要半个。
老师：仔细想想，说出理由来。
杰拉得：因为你如果把柑橘切成十分之五，那柑橘汁就损失太多了。
To Go to Heaven
Sunday School teacher: Hands up all those who want to go to Heaven? Hands up ..... what about you, Terry? You haven't got your hand up -- don't you want to go to Heaven? Terry: I can't. My Mum told me to go straight home. 去天堂
主日学校的教员：想去天堂的人举起手来，把手举起来。。。你呢，哈里?你还没举手呢-- 你不想去天堂吗? 哈里： 我去不了，因为妈妈让我一放学就回家。
How Many Rabbits?
Teacher: Now, Jonathan, if I gave you three rabbits and then the next day I gave you five rabbits, how many rabbits would you have? Jonathan: Nine, sir. Teacher: Nine?
Jonathan: I've got one already, sir. 多少只兔子?
老师：好，乔纳森，假如我给你三只兔子，第二天我又给你五只，你一共有多少只兔子? 乔纳森：一共有九只，先生。 老师：九只?
乔纳森：先生，我本来就有一只。 ，好极了，
小双语 | 冷笑话之奔跑的兔子
A little rabbit is happily running through the forest when he stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a joint. The rabbit looks at her and says, "Giraffe my friend, why do you do this? Come with me running through the forest, you'll feel so much better!" The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with the rabbit.
有一只小白兔快乐地奔跑在森林中, 在路上它碰到一只正在卷大麻的长颈鹿。小白兔看着长颈鹿说道：“长颈鹿我的朋友，你为什么要做这种事呢？和我一起在森林中奔跑吧，你会感觉心情舒畅很多！”长颈鹿看看小白兔，又看看手里的大麻烟，把大麻烟向身后一扔，跟着小白兔在森林中奔跑。
Then they come across an elephant doing coke, so the rabbit again says, "Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health. Come running with us through the pretty forest, you'll feel so good!" The elephant looks at them, looks at his coke, then tosses it and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe. 后来它们遇到一只正准备吸食可卡因的大象，小白兔又对大象说：“大象我的朋友，你为什么要做这种事呢？想想自己的健康啊。跟我们一起在这片美丽的森林中奔跑吧，你会感觉好很多！”大象看看它们，又看看手中的可卡因，于是把可卡因向身后一扔，跟着小白兔和长颈鹿一起奔跑。
The three animals then come across a lion about to shoot up and the rabbit again says, "Lion my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health! Come running with us through the sunny forest, you will feel so good!"
后来它们遇到一只正准备注射毒品的狮子，小白兔又对狮子说：“狮子我的朋友，你为什么要做这种事呢？想想自己的健康啊！跟我们一起在这片阳光明媚的森林中奔跑吧，你会感觉如此美好！”
The lion looks at him, puts down his needle, and starts to beat the hell out of the rabbit. As the giraffe and elephant watch in horror, they look at him and ask, "Lion, why did you do this? He was merely trying to help us all!" 狮子看看小白兔，放下手中的针筒，把小白兔猛揍了一顿。长颈鹿和大象被吓坏了，它们看着狮子问它：“狮子，你为什么要打小白兔呢？它只是想要帮助我们大家啊！”
The lion answers, "He makes me run around the forest like an idiot each time he's on ecstasy!" 狮子回答：“这家伙每次嗑了摇头丸就拉着我像白痴一样在森林里乱跑！” 姐，” 萨莉说，“除了音乐其它都很好。”
英语幽默笑话：干净的杯子
本文来源：https://www.wddqxz.cn/d988150de43a580216fc700abb68a98270feac73.html
2023-12-27
