剑八test1小作文范文

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剑8 test1 小作文 求评分批改

第一行有个错别字：courses---causes。

第一段对题目改写比较简单，而且后半句和原题比较像。

第三段it lists 3 causes leading to land degradation in such three regions 而且本段写的有点混乱23%land degraded by the deforestation(9.8%)and over cultivation7.7% and over-gazing5.5% in Europe. 没有谓语动词，而且没有比较 The over-gazing rate makes up 13% and results to land degraded in Oceania. 常用表达the rate/proportion of over-grazing

The over cultivation and over grazing leave 3.7% and1.5%result to land degraded in North America.去掉句首的The, 3.7% and1.5% 后面加个respectively result to 改成-ing形式吧

本文运气好也许能到6但很有可能是5.5及以下的。因为正文部分语法错误多，表意不明确、而且句式结构有点随意、简单了。

【雅思剑5test1小作文求评价

The line graph describes some data about the percentage =》是不是可以改成 The line graph describes the percentage。

aged 65 and over =》aged 65 and older As can be seen from this line graph,there is an increasing trend in the number of old people in three countries.More

precisely,the percentage of population went up gradually from 9% in 1940 to 15% in 1982 and it will remain stable at 14% in 2018（那个国家？）.After that（去

掉？），the proportion of population aged 65 and over is expected to reach 23% in 2040.Similarly（跟什么说similarly，前后说的好像不一样） ，the proportion of population age 65and over in Sweden accounted for 7% in 1940 to 26% in 2040（对将来数据的预测，时态是否不对？）.While,the percentage of population aged 65 and over in USA remained steady at 5% by the end of 2008,After that,there is a substantial surge and occupies at 27% in 2040（对将来数据的预测，时态是否不对？）.Therefore,it shows that the percentage of 65+ people are soring moderately in the next three decades.（ 未来三年应该是数据预测，不是shows吧.，另外，soring moderately，适度的飙升？有点矛盾？）soring => soaring。

剑7 test1 小作文 求修改




你最后一段我没看懂你想说什么，所以就没改了，。

雅思作文批改 剑2 test1 小作文 （高分求修改）



)（Another new invention was the dishwasher, their figures only started to show from the year 1978,also because they are kind of luxury, too expensive and no really a nessesity. Therefore they showed a very slow increase from 3% to only 5% in five years 这是的替你补充的，同样是，你可以加或不加上去都任随你。）In conclusion, there were striking differences in percentage of households with

in(within 是一个字) the 11 years spanning from 1972 through 1983.原文写得甚好，只有一个明显的错处（把 telephone 当作 dishwasher）。

另外，我替你加长了一些以供参考，你可以接受或不接受都由你。希望会对你有帮助，若满意请及时采纳，如有不明可以继续追问，谢谢。

剑10 test1 小作文什么意思



剑10 test1 小作文什么意思



帮我改一下这个雅思小作文是剑5 test1的小作文

The graph illustrates changes in the proportion of the population aged 65 and over form 1940 to 2040 in Japan, Sweden, and USA. （介词in用的没错，但要加上逗号。）

In 1940,JAPAN was the least in amount of population aged over 65,which was 5%. While the American population was the most proportion,which was double of Japanese about 9%,furthermore,Swiss population was 7% in between.

---In 1940, Japan was the one which has the least amount of population aged 65 and over(5%), while America consists of the largest proportion, which amounts to 9%, doubling that of Japan.

However,the proportion of Japanese population witnessed a downward trend from 1940 to 1990,which reached the bottom (about 3%), after which, we can see a highly upward trend that the population increased to 27% in 2040.Furthermore, it even overtook Swiss and America in 2030.

Overall,the graph shows the proportion of three countrys population aged 65 and over has increased dramatically in 100 years.


剑7 test1 小作文 求修改

The graphic information in the table shows how the consumers spend their money between different items, in the following five countries by 2002: Ireland, Italy, Spain, Sweden and Turkey.

In conclusion, consumers in Turkey were preferred to pour their money into both Food/Drinks/Tobacco and Leisure/Education, as against the highest consumer expenditure in other Europe countries was Food/Drinks/Tobacco.

大多数的用词方法改了一下，顺序也稍微换了一下，这样读起来比较顺口，还有你那个Food/Drinks/Tobacco和Leisure/Education，在这边基本上是不用“/”来划分的，就直接用逗号，而且也不要大写。

你最后一段我没看懂你想说什么，所以就没改了，。

请专业人士帮忙改一篇雅思小作文,剑6test1task1,谢谢

我提几点意见

1：第2段第1行.首先有个用词不准. usage应该改为use（后面同理）， 因为usage是"用法"的意思， use同样可以做名词. usage有the generally accepted way of using something的意思， 而use才是the act of using. 另外这一句考虑重写一下， 因为目前句子主干是the use are three ways. 这个表述不恰当（重点考虑改写谓语）. 最后， 个人觉得ways后面的which应该加逗号， 因为我觉得你在写一个非限定性定语从句.

2：第2段倒数第2行. a SHAPE increase? or sharp?

3：第2段最后一行， reach应改为reaching. 和peaking并列的， 或者说补充的成分吧.

很晚了 有点困， 只能看出这么多了 - -b 我有不对的地方请指教. 希望这些能对你有用. good luck,

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