TOEFL iBT Practice Test 1-Writing-2

2022-07-09 22:57:20   文档大全网     [ 字体: ] [ 阅读: ]

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Sample Responses with Rater Comments

Score 5 Essay-Sample 1

Every young adults will grow and live apart from their parents to form their own families. The ages for those young adults to be independent depends on each person. Some people may have to live longer with their parents and some others may not. This essay will discuss the issue of independent life and living with their families for a longer time.

Most young adults prefer to have a separate or independent life from their parents or families as soon as possible. This is because they have a strong urge for freedom in doing what they desire. But in fact many of them fail. This should not be surprising since often they are actually not ready mentally although they are physically ready. It is widely understood that to live independently requires a lot of energy and is not easy at all. In this twenty first century, people may need more and more preparation because competition is increasing rapidly. An observation shows that many University graduated students are unemployed. Therefore, they will not be able to support and fulfill their necessities.

So living independently at an early age is not suitable for all young adults, some young adults may need to take more time to prepare themselves before going out to struggle. Young adults need to be ready to support themselves. Taking time to get more education and living with their families for a longer time may lead them to a better independent life because they wil be well prepared for the hard-life outside. Still, living with their families for too long will not be a good idea because they could get too used to it and tend to be less independent.

The time to live independently depends on the person himself. He or she must decide whether they are ready to leave their parents to have an independent life or not. The decision will vary from one person to another. A person should judge that he is capable of fulfilling his needs without being dependent on his parents; this indicates that he is ready for his independent life. Otherwise he might need to stay longer with his parents.

Rater Comments

This well-developed essay meets all the criteria for earning a score of 5. The writer develops the topic through a detailed discussion of independence and of the suitability of living independently. The essay is unified and coherent. Sentence structure is varied, especially in paragraph 2 and 3. The writer does not use high-level

vocabulary, but word choice is correct throughout. There are minor errors("University graduated students", "fulfill their necessities"), but these in no way interrupt the flow or meaning of the essay.


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