【#文档大全网# 导语】以下是®文档大全网的小编为您整理的《爆笑英语冷笑话10篇》,欢迎阅读!
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爆笑英语冷笑话10篇
下面是学习啦我整理的爆笑英语冷笑话,欢迎大家阅读! 爆笑英语冷笑话:Whose father was the stronger
Will and Bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger. Will said, Well, you know the Pacific Ocean ? My fathers the one who dug the hole for it.
Bill wasnt impressed, Well, thats nothing. You know the Dead Sea ? My fathers the one who killed it!
维尔和比尔在争吵,谁的爸爸是更强壮的一个。维尔说:"你知道太平洋吗?那个坑是我爸爸挖的。'
比尔不屑地说:"那没什么。你知道死海吗? 那是我爸爸打死的。' 爆笑英语冷笑话:Persistance 缠住不放
Returning from a golf outing(远足,短途旅行) , my husband was greeted at the door by Sara, our four-year-old daughter. Daddy, who won the golf game? You or Uncle Richie?
Uncle Richie and I dont play golf to win, my husband hedged(避开作正面答复) . We just play to have fun.
Undaunted, Sare said, Okay, Daddy, who had more fun?
丈夫打完〔高尔夫球〕回来,我们四岁的女儿莎拉在门口迎了上去。爸爸,谁赢了高尔夫球竞赛,是你还是理查叔叔?
我和理查叔叔打高尔夫球不是为赢,丈夫推诿说。我们打球只是为了好玩而已。
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莎拉毫不气馁,又问:那么,爸爸,谁觉得更好玩呢?
爆笑英语冷笑话:Knights Nights 黑暗时代
Teacher: Why do we sometimes call the Middle Ages the Dark Ages? Betty: Because they had so many knights. 老师:为什么有时我们称中世纪为黑暗时代呢? 贝蒂:因为那时有许多骑士。
爆笑英语冷笑话:Who is Stupid 谁愚蠢
A teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, Everyone who thinks youre stupid, stand up! Little Johnny then stood up.
The teacher said, Do you think youre stupid, Johnny? No, maam, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!
一个老师在对学生们讲心理学,"谁认为自己蠢就站起来?'她一开始就说。 小约翰尼站了起来。
"你认为你很蠢吗,小约翰尼?'老师问。
"不是的,老师,我只是不宠爱看你一个人站着。' 爆笑英语冷笑话:The teacher cried 老师哭了
The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled. His father knew it, but his grandma doted on(溺爱,宠爱) him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum(乱发脾气) . Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmothers loving arms.
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When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door. Was school all right? she asked, Did you get along all right? Did you cry? Cry? John asked. No, I didnt cry, but the teacher did!
六岁的约翰娇生惯养。他的父亲知道这一点,可他的祖父母照旧宠着他。这孩子几乎寸步不离他的祖母。他想要什么不是哭,就是闹。
他第一天上学才离开祖母的怀抱。约翰放学了,他奶奶在门口接他并问道:"学校怎么样?你过的好吗?哭了没有?'
"哭?'约翰问,"不,我没哭,可老师哭了。' 爆笑英语冷笑话:Which Month Did He Go Away
When Jack bowed to someone, he always did it at lightening speed. You shouldnt wait any longer after he has had his head nod. So he was blamed for no manners. Then some warmhearted men taught him, When you bow to somebody next time, you can count January, February, March. until December. Then you can lift your body up. Thus, the ceremony will be perfect.
The next day, he met his uncle, he did as the men told him. The bow was so long that it made his uncle feel surprised and escaped away soon . When Jack looked up, he found his uncle gone . So he asked the passer, Which month did he go away? 杰克给人鞠躬,飞速地一点头,就算完了。大家都怪他不懂礼貌。于是便有好心的人教他说,下次鞠躬的时候,你就在心里数:一月、二月、始终数到十二月为止,然后再直起身来。这样,礼节就周全了。
第二天,杰克见到他的叔叔,他便如法炮制。这躬鞠得太久,叔叔吃了一惊,抓紧逃开了。杰克抬头一看,其叔早已不知去向,他便问过路人:我叔叔几月走
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的?
爆笑英语冷笑话:Big hands 大手
Teacher: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?
Student: Big hands.
老师:假如我左手上有7个桔子,右手上有8个桔子。那么我有什么? 学生:大手。
爆笑英语冷笑话:I want a nightmare 想做坏梦
Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, Mom, I had a dream last night that Id passed todays exam.
Dont trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite. Mother replied.
Then I do hope Ill fail the other subjects in my dream tonight, Tom said. 在期末考试之前,汤姆告知他的母亲:"妈妈,我昨天晚上做了一个梦,梦见我通过了今日的考试。'
"不要信任梦,友爱的。据说梦中的经受通常与现实相反。'妈妈答道。 "那么,我真希望在今晚的梦中,我的其他功课都不及格。'汤姆说。 爆笑英语冷笑话:Its part of the game 我在扮演妈妈
Mother: Mary, why do you yell and scream so much? Play quietly like Eddie. See, he doesnt make a sound.
Mary: Of course he doesnt. Mom, its part of the game we are playing. He is Daddy coming home late, and Im you.
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